Have You Ever Watched How 7 Year Old Girls Do Friendship??
I quietly watched my 7 year old daughter play with her little girlfriends recently. Like intently listened and watched how they interacted and spoke to each other. I was struck by how they do friendships.
They packed snacks for each other.
They made sure each of them had enough Barbies to play with.
They laughed at each other's jokes.
They tumbled and did cart wheels. While each one was front and center the other two sat on the side and cheered for her.
They never stopped smiling.
They stopped playing when one of them got hurt and made sure she was cared for and loved on.
They skipped to the bathroom together.
They waited for each other patiently.
They locked hands most of the day and never let go.
They got in one argument and got mad and in about 5 minutes they were over it.
Their excitement and love was so contagious.
I felt myself wanting to be a part of their connection. As I sat and thought to myself, that feeling of connection and deep love never goes away. We lose it along the way as we lose our own confidence through life. We complicate what should not be that complicated.
Loving other women is hard when you do not love yourself. When you let competition and comparison rule your world you can not look at her and cheer for her or celebrate her when things go well in her life.
This is a fact.
Over time in life we lose this sense of selfless love. Each of us have our own reasons.
Maybe you were never included growing up and now the standard you measure all women by is that mean girl clique who didn't invite you to their party.
Maybe you never honored that pull in your heart to leap and you see her leaping and it stirs your heart and the jealousy oozes now.
Maybe you never grew up hearing affirmation from someone you love and now you don't even know how to bestow that to someone else.
We all have a reason or a thing or a lot of things that have led us away from the connection that God has always designed us to have.
We are meant to feel connection and deep love. He sends us people as conduits to Him. Good friendships act as that.
But when we resist it because of our own closed off hearts due to our own unresolved "stuff" we miss out on the good stuff.
This should not be this complicated. Why do we do this to ourselves? I ask myself this all the time. Why do I make it hard when it doesn't need to be?
You don't need a million friends but you absolutely NEED a "7 year old" type of friendship.
YOU NEED THAT.
And to find that friend you have to BE that friend. We have to be the friend we want to attract.
Be the encouraging one. Be the light filled girl. Be the one who reaches out. Be the one who gives grace freely. Be the friend you want to be.
It is not easy. When you are 37 or 49 or 52...it is not easy. But it is absolutely worth it. You may get hurt along the way but you will never find that 7 YEAR OLD bestie sitting in your old ways.
You are worthy of this but you gotta make the time.
Friendship, true and deep friendship, takes a crap ton of work. So I don't buy the idea that it is easy.
If you want it to work you gotta put in some work.
You have to put your ego aside sometimes, your heart needs to be pried open, you have to admit you are wrong and you have to show up with abundant love.
We all experienced life at 7 and for most of us it was blissful because love was the foundation of everything we did.
Why can't we rebuild that foundation?
It is the one that doesn't wash away.
It is the one that changes your life.
It is the one that everything can be built upon. LOVE DOES.
TRUE TRANSFORMATION is in that.
I know my friendship skills need some work and I am thankful for my kids to show me the way.
They do it best. Hands down.