Failing Freaking Sucks…
Well, here it is...the gut punch of parenting. Socked, closed fist in my gut and it freaking sucks.
Our 8-year-old Carter, just got a dose of failure...
....wow - that was HARD to see.
He didn’t make the baseball team which would have put him with most of his friends. He instead will move down to a different league to match his current ability.
We got the email and knew this was going to be one of those times that in 20 years we will use it as a “remember when that happened” moment.
My hubs came home for a bit from work to share this news as he wanted to tell him before he went to school the next day thinking he was a AAA player...and talking with his friends and realizing that was not the case.
So, they had one of those father and son moments that you as a Mama sit next to the closed door with your ear glued to it listening to every word as best as your old ears can take in.
Well, they took it all in and the sobs and tears I heard coming from my baby boy were enough to bring me to my knees.
He was embarrassed and he was so sad that he was not going to play with his friends. He shared his frustration with Daddy…”I am just not good at sports, I never will be.”
How do you convey to your baby that although it feels like the end of the world, it’s not?
That he will grow from this, move through it and one day see these bouts of failures as the greatest successes ever. His character is being transformed, his work ethic is being established and his integrity is becoming prevalent.
Daddy of course shared some of our own with Carter...
👉 About testing to become a Captain with the fire department and not making the list.
👉 Or when mama as a young 14-year-old...the only one of my friends to not make the PomLine Team
👉 And the time I was passed up twice for the position as the morning show anchor.
It’s the biggest horse pill there is to swallow. Your pride is rocked. Your confidence is shaken. However, it is the greatest teacher on earth.
My hubs went on to explain that up until this point in Carter’s life, showing up was all that was necessary...trying a little and putting in a little work was all that needed to happen.
But starting now, at this age, if we want something really bad we have to work really really hard.
⚾ If you want to make AAA then we gotta work like we want to make it.
What a lesson for us all...you have to work like you want it.
Here I am, at 36 and I still fail, often. However, having failed early in life gave me such a strong ground to walk on.
When the big failures of...
😕 Losing job opportunities
😕 Racking up debt
😕 Losing money on an investment
....or anything else - I could handle them.
I knew it wasn’t the end and instead knew it really was the beginning of something GREAT.
I knew that in order to get past the fail, I had to work HARD.
If you’ve failed recently, I am here to say...
"It is going to be OKAY. Actually, it is going to be better than OKAY. It will be GREAT!”
I know, you are like “OH PLEASE, GIRL, STOP WITH THAT POSITIVITY CRAP!” It can suck and it can feel awful but the minute you choose to stay in that place is the minute the failure just won.
You are made to move and you are made to learn...what has happened is just that, a moment to learn something. What a gift, right?
God does His work through each moment He brings us through. My baby boy was given this trial and he will learn from it. I hate seeing it, it’s hard but I will choose to see the good and help him work through this.
Will you choose to look for the glimmer, the good, the beauty in the mess today?
If we are going to live in the house of gratitude that I so often talk about then we have to see the beauty in the messy room we are walking in. That failure can be cleaned up. We can put ourselves back together. We aren’t the mess. We just had to walk through it and now we can tidy back up and stay put in the house of gratitude.
I see you sweet friend.
I know that setback was hard but let’s learn from it. Let’s choose to move through it instead of stay stuck in it.