She Needs to See HARD, MESSY and IMPERFECT Days

Earlier this week my kids and I were in the garage working out. And by working out, I mean moving our equipment, just a random Pinterest search to find "an at home workout with no equipment, crossfit style." Yes, I get real specific.

We bring out our Alexa and blast some Billie Eilish and sweat it out.

Truth is that workout was as defeating as the last few months of this year have felt. And as my dear friend Andy says "smile through the pain." That was our "smile through the pain" selfie.

Everything feels heavy and hard. Some days it's a "dig really freaking deep to see the good and the beauty of the day" yet I come up short.

And I know I am not alone in that feeling.

I think we are all wondering "why and when will this end?" When will anything feel like old times again? When can I stop making a million meals, when can I go somewhere without thinking? When can I get a break from my kids? When will kindness and love rule? When will stability in our jobs and income come back?

But it hit me while sweat was dripping in my eyes and her little voice was complaining about how hot it was and how hard it was and how her legs were tired.

I WANT her to feel that. I NEED her to see that there will be HARD, MESSY and extremely IMPERFECT days. Ones that will suck the air out of your lungs, ones that will make you question everything, ones that will ask you the question "who do I trust?" And ultimately ones that will force you to choose faith or fear.

The greatest disservice I could do for my kids while I am here on earth is to try and show them a pain free, "everything is perfect" life. I would be setting them up for the biggest lie of life. Because this life, on earth, will never be perfect or easy street.

There will be days of GREAT wonder, or near perfection and beauty but there will also be days where we are winded, tired and defeated.

The GREATEST service I could do for my kids is show them that while pointing them towards Jesus. That when we are tired we rest in His truth, not those of the world and when we think we can't move forward we remember the hope He gave to us so long ago.

My hope is that they will find Him, grow close to Him and let Him lead the way through uncertain and worrisome days.

And through Him, their hearts transform, their spirits renew everyday, their focus shifts from perfect to peace and when that happens everything changes.

One day, they are going to have to stand on their own two feet and lead people within the 4 walls of their own homes and they too will have days of defeat and worry and sadness but I want them to be wired to rely on Him when their world feels messy and sad.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want them to feel that and as a Mother, I want to protect them from harm and hurt but I have to let them feel and see pain sometimes and even defeat. If I don't, one day, their roots won't be deep enough to withstand the storm.

I will mess this up a million and one more times because parenting is hard, I have not patience and I am exhausted most days but I will never stop trying and I will allow my kids to see that Mama's greatest work will always be to lead them towards growing those roots strong and deep.

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  1. Tracy Richardson on July 2, 2020 at 2:01 pm

    Good Afternoon Andrea, Yes I do have those Days where I want to run and not come back , sounds bad . I love my 3 kids and love to be with them every day helping them out doing what I can yes I wish school was back for them , we are at home no where to go I feel like to sit in a corner and cry with school not in , my sister moving again, There is so much you can do in your life , I try to do much a as I can with my kids with them they have there computer, u-tube to watch I watch with them. I feel like there is so much in a day what do you think. Sorry so long.

  2. Barbara on July 2, 2020 at 2:57 pm

    This could not be more true. Our children need to see the reality of this world for so many reasons. Although I struggle with wanting to shelter them from pain, unhappiness or anything negative it’s not the nature of this world. We all appreciate the wonderful things so much more after the rain. Also it’s during these storms that we learn our most valuable lessons and find our strengths. Learning to navigate these difficulties is truly a gift even though doesn’t feel good at the time usually.Thank you for the work you are doing.

    • Andrea Robinson on July 8, 2020 at 2:58 pm

      You are so very right. I too want to shelter them from it. It is our nature to protect them but I know that if we do too much they will feel that pain inevitably at some point in life and I believe learning these things earlier on makes for a stronger journey for them. We got this…together, always! Keep shining, sweet one…they need you and you are doing the best job ever!! xoxo

  3. Shannon Plummer on July 5, 2020 at 4:42 pm

    Thank you, I feel like I’m the only one in this journey struggling. How does everyone make it look so easy or just okay? I feel like I have more lose days then win. I feel broken.

    • Andrea Robinson on July 8, 2020 at 2:56 pm

      You are not alone, Shannon. Not one bit. I do fall into that often…how does everyone else make it look so easy? Well, what I know for a fact is they struggle too but often are afraid to share their honest hearts and if they knew that by sharing them they would feel the weight lifted, things would be so much lighter for all. We are all in this together. Don’t forget that. Sending you a big hug! xoxo