You Are Not the Only One With a Mess

November 17th, 2011: a big day for our family.

I remember walking into Bank of America and paying off the note to our last loan.

We did it. 52k in consumer debt, gone.

We did something that was not too popular, supported at the time and definitely weird to some.

It was a day we celebrated just me, him and our baby Carter.

7 months prior we sat and finally felt the mess of debt we had buried ourselves in. It was fine for a long time because we just didn’t look at it, we did like most in America do and spent more than we made and told ourselves “we deserved it.”

We came up with a plan and then did the hard part, stuck to it and said NO to things that didn’t support it.

He worked endlessly, I sold everything, I stopped foolishly spending to fill voids and I realized the Jones’ are broke so why are we trying to keep up with them.

We were called “cheap, weird and all the things” but it didn’t matter because the WHY was so much greater than the opinions of the naysayers.

Disclaimer: we made good money, 2 incomes and great benefits but our habits were terrible. What we know more than anything now is it was never an income problem but a behavior problem.

It took a lot of consistency and keeping our feet forward to change that habit.

I only share this because:

A) I lead with gratitude and I’m grateful for that awful struggle for so many years because it brought our marriage closer and brought us to a life where we didn’t have debt payments leading our decision making .

B) it reminded us that when we surrender our control to God, He lights the way better than we can alone

C) we all have a mess we don’t talk about but the minute we let it out we let go of the hold it had on us and we find others who are walking the same journey and we can remind each other that there is hope when it feels hopeless.

I’m not sure what your situation is today. Maybe it’s not debt, maybe it’s an addiction, a marriage strain, a parenting challenge, relationship struggle or major health issue...you aren’t meant to walk it alone.

Share it. We didn’t have many to share it with then and it was lonely.

I want you to walk with someone...share your mess...let someone help you see the way through and encourage you along the way. Together is the way.