Mama, Stop Scrolling and Wishing Your Life Looked Like Hers
A new house with a big fancy kitchen. Oh, yes, the one with the big island and the fancy lighting. I know, I zoomed in on the picture too, WOWZA, right?
Then there's that new car you saw Heather from high school got. Clearly, she and her family are #livingtheirbestlife with that beast of a car...I mean, all the navi, all the rims, all the tech. I don't even know what it does but it's big time.
Oh and did you see Sally and that bod?! ABS. ABS. ABS. She had a baby 10 minutes ago. How is this humanly possible?!
Annnnnnnd, omg, that beach vacay the Peterson's are on. It looks glorious and amazing and like it was plucked from an ad in Conde Nast.
Yep, that's the comparison black hole scroll and it's like quick sand and if you aren't careful it sucks you in to the point of no return.
Before social media, the game was harder to play. You actually had to see the neighbors pull into the drive way with the "hot off the lot" car or go to a friend's house to see their slideshow of pictures from vacay or go shopping with Sally to see her amazeballs bod. But today, it's easier and faster than ever to get sucked in and if you aren't careful, your heart slowly gets bitter and you lose every ounce of gratitude for what is in front of you, right now.
It is hard to be completely immune to these feelings, we are human and when we don't practice valuing what we have in our own lives, or open our eyes wide to see the blessings in front of us, we get to a place where happiness is fleeting and it leaves us based on what we see someone else has.
THAT IS A PRISON KIND OF LIFE. But I am gonna be stone cold honest, even with all the practice we still fall into the trap. YEP, you do, she does, I do, we all do.
But how do we fall in less and less? How do we fall in love with our own life so we aren't tempted to wish for hers or fall in love with what we see as real?
There are NO shortcuts to life. NONE. ZERO. ZILCH. Anything lasting is going to take time and consistency to build BUT, several years ago, I read a devotional and the thought stuck so deep inside of me "GRATITUDE IS THE SHORTCUT TO CONTENTMENT." #boomshakalaka
Should I say it louder for the people in the back?? "GRATITUDE IS THE SHORTCUT TO CONTENTMENT."
But what does that mean?? It means this: until you can develop a deep love and appreciation for what God has blessed you with today, in this moment, not in 10 years when you reach the goal or when you lose the weight or when you get those new floors in your kitchen or when you get that car, BUT today, right now, where you are with what you have, you will never be able to ward off the invitation to play the dang comparison game.
Don't you want to be able to celebrate someone else's achievements? Or applaud their new purchase or fancy house or whatever else it is that makes ya a little jelly?
I know I do. I did the comparison thing for way too long in life. It leads to failed or shaky friendships, it leads to a competitive heart, it leads to a constant feeling of "never enough."
But what do you do to fix this? Well, it's not cured tomorrow but over time when we commit to seeing our life first and giving thanks to God for it all, no matter the circumstances, we will shift. It will be slow but it will guide you towards a life of contentment.
And don't get all triggered but this...contentment doesn't mean complacent, it doesn't mean you stop working towards goals, it just means we bring great gratitude first to where we are today, with what we have. Show up to your life first before you view everyone else's. Make an endless list, everyday and answer this question "What am I grateful for." That question is powerful and when repetitively asked over and over again, changes the lens in which you are viewing your life through. You start to see it through God's eyes and His are the best lens of all.
Secondly, we have to realize that that grid on Instagram, or the feed on Facebook is a SNIPPET of a FULL, REAL, TRUE story. I am not saying every post isn't all butterflies and rainbows but I wasn't in TV news for 15 years to not understand that a picture isn't always the best representation of an entire story. Most everything is never viewed in full context.
Maybe the Mom with the perfect kids and family and house is lonely and wants to pursue her other passions outside of raising her family.
Maybe the new car she posted about also has a $600 a month car payment and is financed for years.
Maybe the abs and the perfect body is the exhausting race of perfection and she can't seem to get out of.
Maybe the picture of her paycheck doesn't show the debt that was racked up to start the business.
Maybe the lovey dovey post about their marriage is covering the endless therapy appointments or the broken trust they are trying to repair.
We all want to be happy. We all want to feel loved. But until we do the work inside of our hearts, we will compare ourselves, we will feel less than and we will always feel like God some how missed us. And that cycle will always lead no where.
He didn't miss you or me or her. He's got us all and He's abundant with His blessings but He does not compare me to you or her because there is NO comparison. We are so unique and wonderfully made. No other YOU exists.
Commitment to cultivating gratitude will change it all. Slowly. When God is first in your life, He transforms every human fiber of your heart. You'll lead with gratitude which turns into love. You become that and you give it so much more graciously when you see how amazing His work in your life has been. And you'll say "not today" a lot more often when your mind tries to trick you into playing the comparison game.
Starting Each Day With Gratitude
This is my very own 90-day gratitude journal I use every morning. Would you care to join me and thousands of other women who start each day with gratitude?
My You Do You Journal™ is a 90-day guided journal, with love and support from me throughout your first 3 months through daily motivation and a community of like-minded women choosing to live in gratitude!